The Leg
Today, as I sit at my desk, feet propped up, and typing away, I am feeling our son move more and more. the midwife says he is around 6.5 lbs, head is in the pelvis area, and he’s just doing his thing until its time for him to come out. Back to today, I started to feel around my belly and based on what my midwife said, I can tell what is a leg and an arm. I feel him rolling around, and can move his legs. The image I got was like when you are scuba diving, and you can see the bottom, but then you get to the edge of a cliff and then it just drops off into the abyss. That’s what I feel like is inside. I can feel his bum, legs, shoulders, and then nothing. But he is running out of room, so it won’t be like that forever.
An Emo Moment
Also, tomorrow is the day that says I have been pregnant 37 weeks now. It is quite the experience, as any mom would agree. This week there was one night where I was up from 2-3am for no real reason. The baby wasn’t even moving around to keep me up. So I managed to go back to sleep, wake up around 7:30 and start my morning routine. As I was almost ready to go, just trying to finish a cup of coffee (which really never happens, I really don’t know why I drink the stuff), I mentioned something to David, and a couple minutes later tears came, and then didn’t stop for about half an hour.
I would like to say that I am a fairly emotionally stable person. There are only a few things that make me cry for long periods of time (pre-pregnancy). And so I told David that I can’t tell if I am “prego emotional” or if I would have cried over the situation regardless of me being pregnant. I think I can count on both hands the number of times I have woke up randomly for a short period of time combined with emotional days where I couldn’t snap out of it. Seriously.
On Another Note
We have now gone to two labor/delivery classes. The more I see laboring video’s the more nervous I get because I know how grumpy and agitated I get when I am really tired or passing a kidney stone. Obviously neither of these is laboring, but I still wonder how I will respond to laboring pain. One of the women in a video I saw reminded me of what I do when I am tired, so that’s why I brought it up. I know it’s different, but it’s not so far off the path. I am really grateful for these classes as they help bring to reality what is about to happen for a first-time mom.
The Fun Part
Talking to the Lord about my fears, anxieties, and worries about labor, and asking Him to help me set my mind of things above, meditate on Him and how He feels about me, and contending for His presence in every area of my house, delivery room and recovery room. Why? Because I can. Because I am his favorite one. He delights in Me! And, why not? Seriously. If I don’t ask, I don’t have. And even if I do ask, and something goes wrong, He is still worth my attention and affection. The Lord loves to meet us in the midst of all things and I have been so blessed by His attention to me through these past few months. He loves life, and to speak to people through the process.
